Foster parent as a single woman
When she was single in her late 20s, Brandy Smith joked with her friends and family that if she hadn't gotten married and had a baby by age 30, she would adopt a baby on her own. But when a pregnant relative approached Smith, asking if she'd consider adopting her baby, Smith hesitated. She wasn't sure she could raise a child on her own. Smith was still unsure when she received a call in July from the same relative saying the baby had been born. Smith's leap of faith resulted in her becoming the foster parent of a baby boy, who she later named Camden. Camden weighed five pounds at birth and spent several weeks in the NICU.
SEE VIDEO BY TOPIC: My First Two Weeks as a Single Foster MomContent:
- Single mom by choice: How 1 woman followed an untraditional path to motherhood
- What Are The Requirements To Be A Foster Parent?
- Why I Became a Single Foster Mom at 34
- ‘At 27, I had become a single foster mom of three overnight’
- How Did I Decide To Become a Single Foster Mom?
- Adopting Children as a Single Woman
Single mom by choice: How 1 woman followed an untraditional path to motherhood
Less than two years ago, Elizabeth Friedland was a single, childless woman focused on her career. Everything changed one night in when Friedland decided to become a foster mother to an infant. The commitment, sacrifice, and responsibility scared me and, honestly, still does. But one day the idea of fostering popped into my mind. I was familiar with foster-care agencies in town so I knew of the urgent need for great foster parents, but it took a while to convince myself I could do it as a single woman.
I had spent many nights tossing and turning, thinking about whether I should make the choice to foster and how I would make it work. I kept running the logistics over and over again in my mind, everything from the big stuff, such as how I would afford child care and manage my career, to the small stuff, such as how I would get up to my second-floor condo with groceries and a baby and a stroller and a giant purse.
Finally, just before Christmas in , I gained sudden confidence in my decision. I basically said, Screw it. If anyone can make this work, I can. And just like that, I never looked back or had second thoughts.
It was a great way to become a mother without having the lifetime commitment, and it was empowering to do this without waiting for a man to come along. A: My foster son is six months old. A: I do. When I first decided to foster, I was dating a man somewhat seriously. I broke the news to him over brunch. He was supportive, but ultimately we broke up for unrelated reasons. Adoptive parents also receive a monthly stipend once the child is adopted, which is a huge bonus, and children adopted through foster care receive free medical care until they turn A: At first I just wrote it for myself.
Writing has always been therapeutic for me. Slowly, I started to hear from others that it was inspiring or motivated them to consider being involved in the foster-care system. Now I try to write with that audience in mind. You never know what kind of comments you might receive when you put yourself out there online, but everyone has been supportive or has asked great questions.
I also posted about fostering on Pantsuit Nation, and the post went viral and has more than , views and 9, comments. I guess what I had to say resonated. Q: Are you still focusing on those extra 20 pounds you wrote about in your blog? What have you learned? A: Sigh Yes. A: You can do it! Maybe Right. Achieve your life goals on your own terms, by your own timeline. Are you a Solo Mom through foster care or adoption? Join our Tribe of moms just like you for support, information, and connection.
She is the divorced mother of two awesome teenagers and often writes about parenting, dating, and relationships. Her work has appeared in numerous publications worldwide, including the Guardian , the Establishment, Glamour , and the Washington Post. Follow her on Twitter at JaimieSeaton. Please feel free to contact us with any comments or questions.
Sign up with Facebook or Google. LOG IN. Articles guidance Adoption Fostering as a Single Woman. Image credit: Provided by Elizabeth Friedland. Q: Tell me what led to your decision to foster as a single woman. Q: How old are your foster children?
What Are The Requirements To Be A Foster Parent?
Parenthood is arguably the toughest job there is. Add the pressures of working as a teacher, living in the second most expensive city in the country, according to the Worldwide Cost of Living report , and dealing with the foster care system and parenting seems nearly impossible. Of the foster parents in Los Angeles County not including foster family agency homes and relative caregivers , there are single foster parents, according to the Los Angeles Department of Children and Family Services. And I saw the need for positive role models in their life, so I started by volunteering. With only three hours to prepare, she ran home, cleaned the house, changed clothes and went to the hospital to pick up a five-day-old infant.
There are many questions to ask yourself when considering becoming a single foster parent. The answer is YES. Most states will license a single foster parent. You will complete the same process as a couple who wants to foster or adopt a child. Almost anyone who has a desire and the capacity to help care for a child can become a foster parent through SAFY.
Why I Became a Single Foster Mom at 34
Less than two years ago, Elizabeth Friedland was a single, childless woman focused on her career. Everything changed one night in when Friedland decided to become a foster mother to an infant. The commitment, sacrifice, and responsibility scared me and, honestly, still does. But one day the idea of fostering popped into my mind. I was familiar with foster-care agencies in town so I knew of the urgent need for great foster parents, but it took a while to convince myself I could do it as a single woman. I had spent many nights tossing and turning, thinking about whether I should make the choice to foster and how I would make it work. I kept running the logistics over and over again in my mind, everything from the big stuff, such as how I would afford child care and manage my career, to the small stuff, such as how I would get up to my second-floor condo with groceries and a baby and a stroller and a giant purse. Finally, just before Christmas in , I gained sudden confidence in my decision.
‘At 27, I had become a single foster mom of three overnight’
The nightmares started immediately: I dream I'm sleeping soundly and awake to a pounding on the door so loud it rattles the walls and renders the white-noise machine useless. One caseworker is carrying an oversize black duffel bag and starts filling it with toys and clothes and diapers while the other picks up the baby and walks out the door. They say nothing to me: They simply arrive, depart and break my world. I chase them down the street, screaming after them that they forgot Bear-Bear, the brilliantly named bigger-than-the-baby stuffed animal.
It was a Thursday but this was no ordinary day, the question was directed at the three littles I had just picked up. For them this was another move, a new home and yet again change. I would be their fifth home in one year.
How Did I Decide To Become a Single Foster Mom?
The answer is "yes"! Each adoptive country determines the requirements for families adopting from their country to the U. Single parent families have become increasingly accepted throughout the country — and the same trends are holding true within the adoption community. In the last two decades, there has been a steady growth in the number of single-parent adoptions.
Perhaps you are thinking about becoming a foster parent but you are not sure if you could do it or not. You might be surprised to find out that you are eligible after all. The requirements are not all that restrictive per se, however, there are a lot of rules and policies to follow once you are licensed as a foster parent. There are often misconceptions about who can become a foster parent. Some people assume that you have to be a 30 something year old, married, wealthy couple who own a large home and fancy car to care for foster children. Reality is that foster parents are made up of people from all different walks of life.
Adopting Children as a Single Woman
The past few decades have brought a remarkable increase in the number of families headed by single mothers. Unlike the old stereotypical images of poverty-stricken, uneducated and abandoned young teens or women facing parenthood alone, more and more successful, well-educated, professional single women are arriving at motherhood by choice and through adoption. Advocates note that the number of both domestic and international adoptions have steadily increased. Compared to their married counterparts, single women say that the process of international adoption is less lengthy and the likelihood of adopting a younger child is much greater. Note that some countries ban international adoption by single mothers and will only allow married couples to adopt. Birth mothers are more likely to select couples over singles for their babies in domestic adoptions, and age is a greater consideration for most agencies. Single women often pursue motherhood for the same reasons married women do.
Not a day goes by without someone asking how I decided to be a foster mom. Maybe the thought has crossed your mind, or someone in your community has brought it up. Is that crazy? What does that really look like? How will it change my life?
My Journey as a Single Foster Mother. I had no idea where to turn but for some reason a contact that I had met some years back from Catholic Social Ministries came to mind. I can honestly say that the assistance of Sue Gilbertson changed my life in the best possible way. Together we looked at my options as a single, middle-aged, not rich, working woman.