How to find a muslim girl for marriage
Some call it haram -- or forbidden -- but more Muslims than ever are turning to apps like Minder and Muzmatch to find romance. When my friend first told me she was looking for a partner on Minder, I thought it was a typo. She didn't. Minder is a real thing, an app Muslims use to browse local singles, much like Tinder. As a Muslim, you get used to people not understanding your life. They don't get why you cover your hair or why you don't eat during Ramadan, the holy month of fasting.
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Jump to navigation. Sad but shocking reality: the divorce rate amongst Muslims in North America is one of the highest in the world. The world's highest is the general U. Many assume divorce means problems began in the course of the marriage, whether it was communication breakdown or irreconcilable differences. But there are many difficulties that lead to divorce which could have been avoided right from the beginning.
This could have happened if individuals, parents, guardians and Imams had played their role right when communication between two Muslims seeking marriage began. Below, we give you some tips and advice of what you can do:. The older woman noticed her instantly. The twenty-something girl was an American Muslima, her white skin and Caucasian features bore testimony to that.
She was perfect for her dear son Muhsin. As she walked closer to her, she noticed the young woman talking to someone of a darker complexion. The woman rushed up. You will make a perfect wife for my Muhsin! If you as a parent want to play an effective role in helping your children seek the right mate, things have to be done differently. Your role as a mother or father is not to be the final arbiter of your child's marriage.
Nor is this way acceptable to most Muslims who have grown up in the West. That said, the parents have a tremendous responsibility in the process. You may live in the same household as your children and think you know them inside out, but many parents are shocked to find their kids' ideas about who they want to marry can be drastically different from what they expected.
Or the nice boy or girl from the local cultural community who is highly educated and very well-off financially may be of little interest to a son or daughter because of their lack of Islamic knowledge and practice.
Open-mindedness and clear communication may reveal a side of your kids that may be hard to swallow. However, you must remember that marriage primarily affects the two people involved in the relationship. They must like the person they are marrying. Siddiqui says parents must set boundaries as to how and when they will meet prospective candidates.
Too often, Muslims stray by thinking seeking a mate is an excuse to engage in dating. Dating occurs when a man and woman spend time alone together. This is usually not with the intention of getting involved in a long-term or serious relationship. This can also develop through hours of unnecessary phone or e-mail conversations. Setting the boundaries of meeting a prospective mate is your responsibility as a Muslim parent.
The rules to remember include the following: the meeting must be chaperoned so the two are not alone together, both prospective partners are lowering the gaze and both are sticking to the topic in the course of discussions for more explanation of some of these points see the article 6 Etiquettes of Seeking a Spouse at www. One suggestion Siddiqui gives in this regard is to avoid late night meetings between prospective candidates and chaperones because at the end of the day, people are tired, their defenses are down.
For this kind of a meeting, all parties need to be very alert. Meetings between prospective spouses must not last for an extremely long time, like being away most of the day to meet this person. Parents should give an allotted time for the two to meet and talk.
One of the reasons for many divorces is the lack of proper investigation of a prospective marriage partner before marriage. Parents have this heavy responsibility of finding out as much as possible about the individual who will possibly spend the rest of their life with their son or daughter. Investigation does not mean just asking two or three family friends or community members. Deeper digging is necessary. The case of one Imam's daughter in the U.
This Imam asked a Muslim brother to check out a boy who was seeking marriage with his daughter. On the surface, all seemed fine. But upon further investigation it was discovered that he drinks alcohol. This fact was also confirmed by two other Muslims. The mediator in this case told Sound Vision that he never would have guessed, looking at the boy, that he drinks. One sister she knows received a proposal from a brother who lived in a different city. To check this prospective mate out, one of her relatives went to the mosque this person attends and observed and talked to him without him knowing he was her relative.
Her relative found the brother unsuitable and let her know about this. Parents as well as individuals looking for a spouse must be honest with regards to their credentials, background and other pertinent details about their personal lives.
Inflating your son or daughter's educational credentials, for example, will only backfire when checking reveals this is untrue. Siddiqui stresses the importance of not rushing a son or daughter into marriage. If you find someone for your son or daughter at a two-day Islamic conference, for example, and this is the initiation of the process, more time must be given to checking facts and references.
Ideally, she says references should always be asked for and checked out before meeting in person. And this goes for boys and girls. Another true story A young Muslim sister, practicing, Hijab-wearing, bright she was studying at one of America's most prestigious universities stepped in front of a moving train in Chicago and killed herself.
Because her parents refused to listen to what she was looking for in a husband. They wanted to hand pick and completely decide who she would spend the rest of her life with. Needless to say, this is not condoned by Islam. Neither is suicide as a way out of difficult situations. Another form of pressure is put on those who are given a proposal.
It is not uncommon to see sisters or their parents pursued by the parents of others who are interested in their son or daughter. This can even reach the level of harassment at times. Forced marriages are not only unIslamic. They pose a danger to your children's future, as well as that of your grandchildren.
Would you want your grandchildren to experience the pain and emotional turmoil of a divorce which could have been avoided if both parties had had more say in the choice of a partner? Imams in North America do more than deliver a weekly Khutbah and lead prayer.
They are, whether they and others realize it or not, responsible for their community's emotional and psychological well-being as well. So Imams don't just officiate marriages. They have to become involved with them as well. This role can take three main forms. Alhamdulillah, a large number of those converting to Islam are women.
Most of these sisters should and do seek marriage with a Muslim. The problem though, is that they don't have the family support needed in seeking the right mate. In most cases they have been cast out of their families because of their conversion to Islam, or they just don't want non-Muslim family members involved in their marriage decisions.
This is where you, as an Imam, must step in. These sisters need to have a third party to advise and mediate on their behalf. Being new to the Muslim community, they don't usually know who is who and can be easily deceived. These Muslim women must be protected against abuse and deception on the part of men who may take advantage of their lack of knowledge of the community. Imams should not wait for a sister to approach them. Once you see such a Muslima inquire discreetly if you can help in this important area of her life.
She may feel shy asking you directly, so you may have to take the first step. An Imam is a great reference for a brother who regularly attends a mosque and is Islamically involved. Many Muslim women's parents and third party will feel a sense of assurance if an Imam vouches for a brother than if a friend or relative does.
The Imam is also the best person to ask to confirm someone's Islamic practice. A brother may say he attends Mosque X in city Y, but this can only really be confirmed by the Imam there, who knows, for example who attends which prayers in congregation, who comes only at Juma or only on Eid. As well, Imams are often asked for help by Muslims in their mosque and are keenly aware of their problems at some level. This can also help a third party seeking information about a prospective candidates who attends your mosque.
While backbiting is generally forbidden by Islam, marriage investigations are an exception to this rule. While these and other problems should remain the business of the individual who has told you in general, in the case of marriage, you must provide complete information about someone you know has a problem.
If a father wants to know about the character of a brother who has proposed to his daughter, and you as an Imam know this brother does drugs, drinks, lies or steals, you must tell this father. His daughter's life is at stake here. Seeking the right husband or wife is something to be commended for. It is also the responsibility of the Muslim community to help those who are seeking marriage in fulfilling this Sunnah and part of our faith.
The same occurs in the uk whereby the Muslim community don't actually help and the parents interfere a lot dismissing and disregarding their children's needs. I am 25 and my sister is 29 and we have been introduced to some pretty aweful rishtas. We are still waiting I actually met a suitable brother of the same age, good education, however his parents are too extreme and interfering and will not allow us to get married - why?
Because I am apparently not good for him, short but I am 5 ft 4. Even though I am well educated and a Pharmacist. A lot of the guys are not manly enough to stand up to their parents and they let them control their entire life.
It's really unfortunate to be in this position.
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Muslim men explain why it’s difficult to find a partner to marry
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But not all communities date. Muslims, for example, often get to know potential suitors with the aim of getting married as soon as possible, predominantly to avoid premarital sex. No matter what your preferences, the dating pool might not scream talent. But when you add religion to the mix — particularly if you are trying to find someone on the same religious level as you — the pool becomes smaller.
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Jump to navigation. Sad but shocking reality: the divorce rate amongst Muslims in North America is one of the highest in the world. The world's highest is the general U. Many assume divorce means problems began in the course of the marriage, whether it was communication breakdown or irreconcilable differences.
Abdullah Numsuk, executive director of the SIO's Wasatiyyah Institute for Peace and Development, said the rule stipulates that if Muslim women younger than 18 are to get married, they need approval from the CICT's panel responsible for handling women's rights. The teen's interest must be taken into account and their marriage must have the consent of their parents, he said. To better protect women and girls from violence, provincial Islamic committee offices must have at least one staff member who can receive complaints about violence they are subjected to, Mr Abdullah said. According to Mr Abdullah, there is a thin line between traditional and religious practices, and some Muslims falsely claim traditional practices as religious conduct as an excuse to abuse women and children. For example, they hold the belief that women who are raped need to be forced into marriage with their attackers, he said.
Marriage for Muslim Girls
Jump to navigation. Mohammad are just one of the many places Muslims in North America often meet potential spouses either to make a final decision or to initiate the marriage communication process. Other places include fundraising dinners, regional seminars, lectures, at the home of a relative or friend, and the local mosque. Sadly though, Islamic guidelines pertaining to proper conduct between men and women are not always respected at these meetings. None of these things fall within the guidelines of Islam. Below are some Islamic principles, both general and specific, to consider if you will be meeting or seeking a potential spouse for yourself or someone else at a conference, lecture, the mosque or another event:. This is a good question to ask even if you are meeting the person to make a final decision because it will be a reminder about the real purpose of marriage from an Islamic perspective. Marriage is part of faith and it is part of the Sunnah of the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him.
Ed No Income , Teacher Mumbai. Tech Rs. A No Income Not working Lucknow.
How to help young Muslims get married
Jump to navigation. For many modern single Muslims the answer lies online, with dating sites like EliteSingles. The appeal of online dating for marriage-minded singles is obvious: it enables people to be completely upfront about their romantic needs and goals while putting them in touch with others who feel the same.
7 etiquettes of seeking a spouse